No one wants to be friends with someone who is suicidal, sad, gloomy all the time. They ask ‘what is wrong’ for the first time, maybe second, but not the third. No one wants to be the lover of someone who cannot make her happy.
So suicidal man does not talk to his friends, does not want to scare them away. Does not talk to his parents, does not want them to worry. Does not talk to his lover, does not want to lose her too. Does not talk to anyone.
Finally when he actually kills himself, they wonder why he did not show any sign. Why did he not reach out and ask for help. Why did he not talk about what is wrong. Why did he not see that there were other options.
Well.
At first, God was keeping it all perfect. Nonexistent space was Euclidean. Everything was uniform. Nothing was different from another thing. Then, God got bored, and decided to leave.
In the absence of God, flaws started to occur. The shape of existence altered. After the Big Bang, the space was not Euclidean anymore, but curvy, Riemannian. Distortions gave rise to entropy, then it gave rise to time. All those heterogenity of energy, created matter. Different particles started to come together to build atoms, molecules. Stars, planets have formed. One day aminoacids started to form in all those chaos, dna started to replicate. Primitive lifeforms evolved to mankind.
When God came back, he was so amazed at how complexity emerged from those imperfections.
Life is a flaw, a disturbance in an otherwise perfect state. While one were nonexistent all along, a disruption occured, and came to life, started to exist. Thus, suicide is the reestablishment by hand, of the perfect state of being: nonbeing.
“Whatever one may say, the happiest moment of the happy man is the moment of his falling asleep, and the unhappiest moment of the unhappy that of his waking. Human life must be some kind of mistake.” -Schopenhauer
“Don’t hesitate to destroy. It is simple” — (via zalambodont)
Rationalism does not exclude empathy.
Disbelief in god does not indicate immorality.
Evolution does not imply social darwinism.
Materialistic / scientific explanations of human emotions (e.g. love) through biology, do not make them less, on the contrary, prove them real.
Statistics tells me that my existence is insignificant and I cannot make an observable change in the world, and tells me stories about the voting paradox and the like.
Chaos tells me that my existence is critical and my every action changes the world irreversibly, and tells me stories about the butterfly effect and the like.
Statistics gets angry and tells that my every action indeed changes the world but those changes are statistically insignificant and does not alter the collective behavior of the world that much.
Chaos gets angry and tells that those changes are indeed statistically insignificant from a world point of view but it can change life of a single human being drastically, significant from a person point of view.
Death, then comes and everybody else stops talking. Death asks me that what does it matter? What if you can change something or not? Does it make a difference in the end?
I don’t answer.
1. Make a proper to-do list.
She is my sanctuary, my safehouse, my exit strategy.
She is the one and only thing that protects me from the others in me.
So I really hope that she remains.
I believed that human brain is a Turing machine (because there was no reason to believe in the opposite). But, apparently, some guys have proven that if you allow irrational numbers as weights in an artificial neural network, it has super-Turing computational power. Well, since we are living in an analog world, our brains, as neural networks, can have irrational weights (assuming the physical world we live in, is continuous, not discrete), hence, our brains may be super-Turing machines.
This may be the first time to consider the possibility of myself being more than a Turing machine.
As time passes, you converge to the center of everything, because everything moves farther away from you, leaving you more and more alone, and their distances to you asymptotically become equal.
Everybody is suicidal. It is just that most of the people die from other causes, before realizing it.